My husband wants to build a moat around out house and fill it with alligators and piranhas…?
December 13, 2009 by
Filed under piranhas for sale
… but I was wondering if maybe just putting up one of those “NO SOLICITORS” signs on the front door would be effective in warding off sales people. Do those little signs actually work?
I don’t blame him! Who doesn’t get irritated by the jerks who invade our lives to sell us their products or their religions.
But since I’m pretty sure what he’s proposing is illegal, I’d suggest you put up a sign. I’d be very specific, though…instead of just “no solicitors,” I’d say “no solicitors, religious agents or salespeople.”
Then, if someone you don’t know shows up on your doorstep anyway, don’t open it.
Perhaps a bear in the front yard might work as well
Yes they do. Someone would have to be pretty brave or incredibly stupid to knock on your door if you have one of those signs up. It would actually work twice as well if it is next to the beware of attack dog sign lol.
Nope they get disregarded so easily
no, those signs do not work and little kids who sell candy door to door for school have no clue what soliciting means (i am a teacher)—i think a loaded shot gun on the front porch—or some 10 dozen cats and such may work better LOL
uuuhhh, i think you are going to need a couple of signing warning about the rules of the property and maybe in different languages. this way, if you have it posted a couple times and someone happens to be attacked by one or both of those animals, you are safe and covered. good luck with this. you may want to check with the laws and stuff, they may have regulations on how big the gators can be and such.
No, those little signs don’t always work. Fences with lockable gates do, and a heck of a lot cheaper than your hubby’s idea. But even his idea is more reasonable than mine when I get ticked at the friggin’ solicitors – I’ve thought of rigging a small cannon facing the door and loaded with steel ball bearings, rigged to fire right through the door when the sons of biscuits come a’knocking! Hey, it’d work for Jehovas Witnesses, too. Whaddya think, shall I?
His idea is much better…the no soliciting sign is worthless to today’s salesman.
When your husband is finished with your moat, can I hire him to build one for me?!??
Hope no one comes home drunk and falls in. OUCH. Besides it is cheaper to buy all that junk then to feed alligators Signs don’t work but you can always ignore them.
I like his idea! – wonder how much that would cost. A big dog might do the same trick.
sales people? what about children? are you married to Tarzan?
Dear Heidi; This will not work for a variety of reasons. First, while you have not spelled it out, your climatic conditions may not be satisfactory for raising such beasts. Second, in the wild, Alligators (well Caymans and Crocs, anyway) eat piranha. Third, you wouldn’t be able to keep the Gators in the moat without extensive preparations–they like to wander and I know that for a fact. Besides piranha, alligators LOVE dogs, especially small ones. This brings me to number four–the tremendous expense. How understanding are your neighbors? They could sue, adding to your expense hugely. They certainly will sue if little Fifi, or their child, run afoul of your moat or it’s denizens.
Signs are worthless as well, People making a living selling door-to-door are hard to discourage. Even the Moat might not work.
You, or your husband should dress up all bloody-looking and disheveled. The other one should lie on the floor till only their legs and feet can be seen from the door. Rave to the salesman about how you “had to do it”. Ask if his cleaning products clean up blood.(really effective if the salesman is not selling cleaning products at all) Invite them in, telling them that you want an “in-home” demonstration. Twitch a lot. Extra points if you’re really sweaty. Your door to door annoyance will never return. He WILL pass the word as well. You may get a visit from the Police. Clean up quickly, and they will be easily dealt with.
One more thing: if the salesman looks like William H Macy, be nice. He’ll be selling Watkins. Let everyone else have it.
I’m with your husband all the way on this one.
I think that door-to-door soliciting, by anyone, should be illegal.
In my community there is a “No knock” ordinance and even that isn’t enough. You sign up onto the list and solicitors must get a copy of it and are prohibited from knocking/ringing at any door on the list —BUT, it doesn’t include political, religious, or charitable solicitations, and it only eliminates the knock, it doesn’t stop anyone from coming to your door and leaving flyers, etc. without knocking. Then you have the idiots that come to the door anyway.
It’s better than nothing but miles away from what I want. So, I put up a “No trespass” sign which should eliminate everyone, and in fact, if you have to go to this length the “No Knock” becomes moot because “No trespass” overrides everything — not quite, there are still the idiots.
I still get people coming to the door, who think that the “No trespass” was meant for someone else, someone who was trespassing. Unbelievable.
Further, as I was told by our Chief of Police, a trespasser won’t be arrested the first time anyway because they can always say that they didn’t see the sign. It would take multiple calls, and even then the trespasser is gone by the time that the Police arrive, and even if stopped elsewhere can say that they were not at your home.
The one group that “No trespass” did eliminate was Jehovah’s Witnesses. As a religious organization, they are immune to the “No Knock” but won’t continue to your door if they see a “No trespass” sign.
There are people, like myself and obviously your husband, who think that when you are in the privacy of your own home you have a right to be left alone, and that others should not be able to invade that private area without an explicit invitation.
It also seems unbelievable to me that in today’s environment, one in which child abductions seem to be a daily news item, society permits strangers to roam through neighborhoods.
Tell your husband that the “No trespassing” sign will eliminate a good portion of the problem, but you’ll still have fools coming to your door. Tell him also to be careful with his anger at anyone violating the trespass order; you can call the Police, but that’s about it, except for maybe gently escorting the person off of your property.
It’s a joke. I think that the solution is simple. Don’t make soliciting against the law; make it legal to shoot them.
alligators are expensive to maintain
WOW you’re so cool… I wished that my own house would come with those creatures.
Anyway, in reality, it won’t work because firstly you need to get permits to own these animals and you must be filthy rich to maintain them or else you’ll be reported for animal abuse.
So, why don’t just put up some sort of ’sign’ at the door?